Its been a tiring day. Non-stop lectures in Singapore polytechnic. Thank God that I've attended seminars before. Was able to keep attentive for most of the day. I'm glad for the opportunity to book out for lessons rather than having them in camp. The change in environment is good for the morale. Even if it does mean booking back in to camp at 6pm.

These 2 weeks have been slightly unreal. In camp training is intensive and yet time passes slowly. A lot of things have to be learnt & memorised. We're expected to pick up skills at lightning pace. I expect it to get more intellectually challenging as we go along. I praise God for putting me here. The more I think about it, the more amazed at how well everything falls into place here. Having more time to focus on God & read His word. Time to do things like preparing Word for cell group. But sickeningly, I did not bring in my cell Word file. Forgive me Lord...

Sunday's sermon was an interesting one. Interesting because I learnt so much from the speaker even though I disagreed with her on so many issues. Issues which I felt were God's lessons for her specifically & not for Christians in general.

Opinions...
Are we entitled to them? What about the things I believe in? Do I dare say that what I believe in, bible truths so to speak, are the absolute truth? Isn't there a chance that I many be honestly wrong? Or will my faith carry me through? Will her faith carry her through the things that seem flawed to me?

All I know is to go where the Holy Spirit leads me. To walk the path that He lays before me with a quiet confidence. Doing my best at the tasks laid before me. Praying that by doing so, my life will be a good testimony to those around me. But is that an end in itself? Am I doing it so that I get some self-worth out of my life? God, how do I do I become a good testimony? How can I be most effective for You? Should I become a religious freak? And scare off everyone I meet? Or is it possible to lead a fun Christ-like life?
Who said Christians were losing out? The world.
Who said being a good testimony makes you a religious freak? The world.
But its not entirely the world's fault. Our lives have become so ingrained with the world that we no longer recognise goodness when we see it. Or sin for that matter.

The question would be... How do I rebel against the world? Where should the lines be drawn. Janet Buchanen says that theres no such thing as a balanced Christian life. If you're looking from the secular perspective, then I think I agree with her. Deep down I sense that its the truth. So do I withdraw from these things? To abstain from movies, tv shows, the computer, music...? Things which have a chance to introduce sin?

Do I fear that I slip into a state thats irrelevant to the people around me? Fear of insignificance? Fear that by sacrificing these things, I'll turn into some religious dinosaur? Why fear? Because deep down I still place it in a position of importance.